There are little things we can do to allow people to feel comfortable with us, and that's important to both short and long-term positive persuasion. For example, have you ever come face-to-face with someone whose name you know you should know, but don't. If they could sense your discomfort, did they make it easier for you by re-introducing themselves to you, or did they make you stew in embarrassing discomfort? Your answer probably reveals whether you feel good about that person or not. It also tells whether, all things being equal, you'd choose to be their friend, do business with them, refer their services to others or help them accomplish any particular goal they might have.

Suggestion: Form the habit of re-introducing yourself to someone you've recently met, whenever you see them, until you are "certain" they know your name (they might even let you know themselves). Doing this will never come back to haunt you, but could possibly make a very significant, positive difference.

The same goes for the telephone. I can't tell you how often I receive calls where the person says, "Hi Bob, how are you?" without identifying himself. Since I don't ever want to embarrass someone or make them feel unimportant, I say "Great, how about you?" Now I spend the next couple of minutes trying to figure out who I'm talking to. Or I might have to apologize by saying, "I'm awfully sorry, I'm sometimes not very good at recognizing voices." The fact is, I do seem to have a challenge distinguishing voices on the telephone, and find myself embarrassed by (and even a bit resentful towards) anyone who either intentionally or unintentionally forces me to play "the guessing game".

The question is, "How often are we ourselves guilty of this very thing, and is it helping or hurting us as we strive towards our goals of establishing win/win relationships?" (We won't even get into the subject of not leaving a phone number on the person's answering machine or voice mail because we're sure they "know it.") :-)

When reaching someone on the telephone, I generally begin by saying "Hi Dave, this is Bob Burg" (hopefully, his name is Dave) :-). And I tend to do this until they tell me they recognize my voice and assure me that it is no longer necessary. It's obvious, however, that they appreciate the gesture.

Admittedly, at times I've taken this practice too far. I remember once calling a very nice woman and when she answered the phone I said, "Hi, this is Bob Burg." She responded by saying, "Bob, I think I know who you are by now - we've been dating for three months!" :-). Oh well, moderation has never been my strongest point.

I believe the key in these two specific areas, as well as anything similar that might come up is this: You'll never offend a person by showing them the courtesy of making life easier for them, but in not doing so, you could embarrass them, make them uncomfortable and even cause slight resentment. Which is more desirable, and is what you want to achieve worth the tiny, tiny extra effort?

Bob Burg is author of "Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of Positive Persuasion in Today's Real World" and "Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales". He also speaks to corporations, associations, and organizations on these two topics. To book Bob for your next major meeting or convention, call 1-800-726-3667.